sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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