Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
