did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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