whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
