So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
