Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
