you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
