I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
