i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I lost the right to judge tonight
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
