the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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