Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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