Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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