Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
