today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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