I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
