Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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