I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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