I wish I could punch you in the face.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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