hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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