As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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