I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
