I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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