How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
