Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
try to milk me bitch
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