I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
