I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize