hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Too much gin, very little bucket
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
