There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
