Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it's great music for shaving your balls
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
