All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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