i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize