Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Randomize
