i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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