don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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