Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
