You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
