I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
