Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
