It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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