When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
