I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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