the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
