O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
