you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
