Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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