just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
