I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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