I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
stop calling my apartment porn island.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize