Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
