just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
