I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
