Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
