Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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