i jhust puked up my retainher.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
