I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
