whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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