well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
