Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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