I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
