Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
