she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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